Buddha babble on Real Life Fiction

It bothers me no end how so many individuals seemingly lack this supposedly very “common” trait. My definition of common sense is “the ability to recognize and simplify both mundane and complex situations and act accordingly upon what the situation dictates”. If you see a pile of dogshit in your path, you’re supposed to avoid it right? (more…)

“How do I understand women so well?

I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability..”

Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets

In my hands was the perfect plan. I shall sneak off work undetected for a couple of hours early. Write my article too long overdue. Run a few errands for the house so brownie points with the grand matriarch. Groom fabulously. Pick up flowers for the missus. Meet the missus for dinner, a movie, and hopefully many things that feel good.

Alas, this was not to be.

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To quote Jet Li drinking beer: “Bakit “bucket”? “

The “bucket list”, like all things popular and convenient and semi-original these days, is a list.

Caroline Adams Miller, esteemed motivational speaker and life coach says: “It’s not enough to react to life on a day-by-day basis. People need a road map. Life lists are one of the best ways to plumb the depths of the human psyche.”

So mundane and robotic as lists may sound, lists help us from shopping for groceries to planning weddings to finding our soul mate AND to ultimately organizing our clutter of a life.

Bakit “bucket”?

Because Elvis has to leave it, the fat lady has to sing it, and you have to kick it. But before you do, you make a “bucket list”.

Still curious?

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1. CLICK

First and foremost would be the internet. Nothing will be able to compare to the sheer power and enormous effect that this technology has both wrought and sowed in our lives. Instant Messaging, e-mail, internet telephony, communication speed limited only by how fast one types or clicks the mouse. Information is available on ANY kind of anything a mere click away. A network comprising of millions is online at any given second ready to provide knowledge, ready to spout opinion, ready to give unsolicited advice, ready to cater to any kind sick or twisted fantasy. Video on demand, item on demand, music on demand, sex on demand— again, available in just one click. Welcome to the future.

2. GO GADGET GO

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This is a journey in three parts. Lengthy as it may be, everything will pan out in the end; or then again, it may not. Whatever happens, this is my five centavos’ worth on the idea of learning.

Look past the allusions. Look past the words pretending as jargon.

While this is personal, do not take it personally.

This is not propaganda. This is a small stab at a social critique.

This is out of the box.

PART ONE: DUMB AND MORE DUMBER

This all started when I overheard a funny conversation one week end ago.

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PART TWO: A BEAUTIFUL MIND

Deviously witty girlfriends playing mind games on their unsuspecting clueless boyfriends notwithstanding, that isn’t my point.

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PART THREE: WE ARE LEGEND

I am a teacher. I have been teaching for 11 years now but I have been a teacher far longer than those 11 years.

The point is: it doesn’t take a teacher to know “cradle snatcher”. I got that off “Hardy Boys.” Just like I got my “Thank God (not thanks God, you moron)” from “Super Book” and “psyche” from Edith Hamilton.

It felt funny and annoying that teachers are casually revered for knowing tidbits of information that go nowhere except test sheets and trivia shows where they pit one vs. one hundred.

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In the wake of lists beginning this fabulous new year (see: seven “senses” of the world) and new year resolutions (this being the inevitable season), this is my contribution to this almost chick-y cheeky theme (which, in fairness, has helped me mend bridges with the missus on more than one occasion).. so semi-originality aside, here’s to things that make everyone, us, even the desolate, desperate lot of you feel that pleasurable tingle at the tip of your spine.

This is where we throw agreeability out the window.

Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one..
IF IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, then OVERDO it, whydontcha?

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A “hot” shower. Go figure..

4. No lines at the supermarket. Sweet.

5. A special glance. Oh yes.

6. Getting snail mail.
7. Taking a drive on a traffic-less road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (or strawberry!)
12. Singing in the bathroom.
13. Giggling.
14. A tremendously and uninhibitedly good conversation.
15. The beach on a sunny day.

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My first stab at this sort of thing will not be an original – rather, I would like to share an article that I received from my e-mail a couple of years ago. Sometimes when we get too caught up with what we’re doing at the moment, we lose sight of what’s really important.

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were
the present “Seven Wonders of the World”. Thought there were
some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1) Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2) Taj Mahal
3) Grand Canyon
4) Panama Canal
5) Empire State Building
6) St. Peter’s Basilica
7) China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one quiet
student hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl
if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied,
“Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there
were so many.” The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have
and maybe we can help.” The girl hesitated, then read, “I
think the “Seven Wonders of the World” are:

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